Yesterday as I sat working in my home office I saw a strange car pulling into our driveway. We get people who turn around at the end of our driveway a lot so I figured it was someone else who was lost or became confused as they navigated the rural roads in our area. Nope, this car came all the way down the driveway and parked. I observed as a guy exited from the car and took a few seconds to grab a binder from the car as he prepared to approach the house. I could see he had some kind of insignia or logo on his shirt, so I thought he might be an appraiser from the county or some other type of municipal employee. He was driving a very new-looking and expensive car, so that kind of cast a bit of doubt on that theory.
I proceeded outside to meet him and see what he was there for. As he approached me he started with a bit of phony small talk as if he was someone I knew from high school or something. He introduced himself and said he was from some company that had to do with funeral planning or something. He then mentioned my wife’s name and asked if this is where she lives. I said that it was and he then informed me that she had sent something in the mail requesting information about their services. I remembered that I had mailed that envelope for her recently and knew she would not have sent anything inÂ if she knew itÂ involved someone showing up on our doorstep. That’s not the kind of thing my wife does. Ever.
I expressed that I was a bit surprised that someone would show up unannounced in response to something sent back in the mail for “more information” and he said that we should have received something in the mail about the visit. “It might have even come today,” he said, or something to the effect.
He handed me a piece of paper that had her nameÂ on it that was obviously produced by their system and given to him along with the names of all the other peopleÂ he would annoy that day. He then said heÂ would like to talk to her and asked if I could go get her. I told him that was not likely and that she is not interested in talking to anyone as a result of simply sending in a request for more information. I handed his paper back to him.
“Well, she did send in this request for more information,” he said, hoping that I would change my mind, and I told him once again that I was not going to get her.
I could tell he was considering the idea of pushing things a bit harder but apparently could tell by the look on my face that I was rapidly losing patience with him and he thought better of it.
At that point he more-or-less apologized and thanked me for my time and wanted to leave his business card, which I accepted. He wished me a good day and headed back to his car. I came back into the house and promptly tossed his card into the trash.
This morning on my morning walk I checked the mailbox as I usually do and guess what I found? Yes, a letter from Lincoln Heritage Funeral Advantage which must have been the letter that the salesman was referring to yesterday. As you can see, it does not state that someone will be visiting my home but it does say their sales pitch is delivered “most effectively through a personal visit with a local representative” and that someone will “contact you to provide information and answer all your questions.” Apparently, the “contact” will be in the form of a surprise visit to your home. How delightful!
The letter goes on to hint that you’ll be spending a “few minutes” with a representative but again does not come right out and say that someone will be showing up at your door. Who doesn’t enjoy surprise visits from salespeople? Someone needs to tell these people that it’s not 1956 any more.
Here’s a little hint for you, Lincoln Heritage Funeral Advantage: When someone returns an item in the mail with the intent of receiving more information about the services you offer, they are expecting to receive more information by mail and are not expecting some guy to show up at their door wanting to come in and deliver a sales pitch in person. That kind of thing has a tendency to piss people off and it really is downright obnoxious and rude.
Apparently, this tactic works for them or they would not be doing it. There must be a sufficient number of people out there who are naÃ¯ve enough or simply too nice to turn people away when they show up at their door. Obviously, that does not apply here and I hope they are not foolish enough to show up at my door again because the next time I may not be so “nice.”